"Pick-up Cards"

I heard from a friend that dudes are using business cards to try to pick up ladies in Center City these days. Apparently they just walk up to a girl, hand her the business card, say "call me," and walk away like they have someplace to be. I used to know the kind of guys who would do this during my previous career as a corporate drone, and they were douchebags to say the least. Or.....are they GENIUS?!?!?!

When I fist heard this I laughed and made fun of them. However....I am still single so maybe the last laugh is on me? Maybe I am becoming a dinosaur in the dating scene and my ancient technique of actually spending the time to try to talk to a girl and get to know her has become outdated...the dating equivalent of the walkman. So I am thinking I need to upgrade my skills, and the way to do that is by becoming a master of the latest "business card" approach.

The biggest obstacle to my sucess in the business card approach is that I work in a career that does not require business cards, so I will have to have my own printed up. The more I think about it, this could be a blessing in disguise because now I am the one who controls what the girls will read when I drop that card on them. The options are endless!!! Do I put my actual job on there? I love my job, but it isn't the kind of career that will make girls swoon....at least not the kind of girls who would respond to a random business card that is handed to them on the street. So maybe I should put a fake career? I could be an astronaut, race car driver, stock broker, or some other job that will drive the ladies banannas. Maybe I should be in advertising? That seems to always work for the leading men in movies...especially romantic comedies.

Next I have to decide what to write on there. Do I just put my cell number or email? Do I put my myspace? Maybe I should just put a P.O. Box number on there to be mysterious and see if they send me a note??? Also, do I put some sort of quote on there like people in business always attach with thier signature at the bottom of emails? Something from Abraham Lincoln or Bill Gates, or someone from American Idol? Or maybe it should be something funny? Or maybe....just MAYBE it should be a pick-up line!?!?! Pickup lines used to be the bread and butter of any cheesy powerbroker type with his spiked hair and popped collar. So, if my theory is correct, the cheesy pickup line should be printed ON THE CARD! Of course on the card I only get to use one line, so it has to be the perfect one. Maybe something like "are those pants made out of mirrors, because I can see myself in them." The perfect line.....

There are other options I could add on too....like a macho looking picture of me. Or maybe a photo of some car that I can't afford and wouldn't want anyway. And I could have the cards scented. Maybe a nice musky aroma? Or maybe I should just spray some Drakkar on them.

I really think I am on to something here.....I will be a stud! No more Friday nights at home playing guitar and watching the complete series of "Freaks and Geeks" on DVD. Imagine an 80's movie montage of me working on my cards, dropping them off to be printed, then picking them up, and then BAM.....before I know it, more dates than I know what to do with!

I still have a lot of decisions to make, but I really think I am on the road to being a "playa." You know....a real lady's man. I'll keep you all updated, and I would sure appreciate any feedback that you might have. The more minds that offer suggestions for my "pick-up cards" the better they will be. And in today's modern dating scene it is all about having the best card. A good business card is the 2008 version of a Mercedes!